{"id":8376,"date":"2021-03-25T10:44:40","date_gmt":"2021-03-25T09:44:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/?p=8376"},"modified":"2021-03-25T13:08:06","modified_gmt":"2021-03-25T12:08:06","slug":"how-to-be-loved-by-locals-in-barcelona-and-what-they-hate-about-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/living-in-barcelona\/how-to-be-loved-by-locals-in-barcelona-and-what-they-hate-about-you\/","title":{"rendered":"How to be loved by locals in Barcelona (and what they hate about you)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- VideographyWP Plugin Message: Automatic video embedding prevented by plugin options. --><br \/>\n<div class=\"row wpb_row row-fluid\"><div class=\"wpb_column columns medium-12 thb-dark-column small-12\"><div class=\"vc_column-inner  \"><div class=\"wpb_wrapper \">\t<div id=\"thb-team-638\" class=\"thb-team-row team-dark\">\n\t\t<div class=\"row style1 regular-padding\" data-columns=\"medium-12\" data-pagination=\"true\" data-autoplay=\"\" data-autoplay-speed=\"4000\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"thb-team-member small-12 medium-12  columns member_style4 \">\n\t\t<div class=\"team-container\n\t\t\">\n\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"400\" height=\"400\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" class=\"attachment-full thb-lazyload lazyload\" alt=\"\" sizes=\"(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4.png\" data-sizes=\"auto\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4.png 400w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-300x300.png 300w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-12x12.png 12w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-180x180.png 180w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-90x90.png 90w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-370x370.png 370w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-20x20.png 20w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-185x185.png 185w, https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/New-Project-4-48x48.png 48w\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"team-information\n\t\t\t\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<h6 class=\"member-title\">Chen\u00e9 Koscielny<\/h6>\n\t\t\t<p class=\"job-title\">South African journalist<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n\t<style>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/style>\n\t<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"row wpb_row row-fluid\"><div class=\"wpb_column columns medium-12 thb-dark-column small-12\"><div class=\"vc_column-inner  \"><div class=\"wpb_wrapper \">\n\t<div class=\"wpb_text_column wpb_content_element  \" >\n\t\t<div class=\"wpb_wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<p><strong>South African journalist and digital marketing expert <em>Chen\u00e9 Koscielny<\/em>, who lives in Barcelona, shares insider tips for expats keen to make local friends \u2013 including what NOT to say or do!<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>People in Spain<\/em><em> are open and friendly<\/em> is something you hear a lot \u2013 I have even said it myself a few times, but, of course, everything is relative. If you\u2019ve lived in Geneva or Paris, as I have, the bar is not very high. All it takes for someone to qualify as friendly is for them not to ignore me or scowl at me.<\/p>\n<p>This also doesn\u2019t mean you\u2019ll instantly make friends in Spain. I ask a few locals and a longstanding Barcelonian-by-choice how you meet people in Barcelona and how to be loved by locals.<\/p>\n<h3>Expats are a \u2018gift\u2019<\/h3>\n<p>Interestingly, everyone I speak to agrees that Barcelonians welcome foreigners. Although there was a time \u2013 pre-Covid, when a certain type of tourist, you know the ones, rubbed locals up the wrong way. Generally speaking, though, they like having us around.<\/p>\n<p>Barcelonian-by-choice, Carine Derangere Lebecque, who has lived in many cities around the world, is one of the organizers of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/downloads\/bg_talent_monitor_report_2019.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Talent Monitor<\/a> \u2013 a Barcelona Global survey of around 30,000 expats, which tests foreigners\u2019 perceptions about life in Barcelona.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cBarcelona is seen as a city with \u2018above average openness by those who live here and Barcelonians-by-choice don\u2019t leave, unless they absolutely have to,\u201d <\/em>she says.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cLocals appreciate us for bringing new perspectives and enriching their city.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Cristina Vali\u00f1ani, Projects Director for Barcelona Global, moved to Barcelona from Lleida when she was 10 years old and lived in several European cities after her studies, before returning to Barcelona in 2009.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cBarcelonians see expats as a \u2018gift\u2019 because of the diversity they bring, especially in the workplace. They appreciate the injection of fresh knowledge and ideas,<\/em>\u201d she says.<\/p>\n<p>After years of being treated like a second-class citizen, this is music to my ears.<\/p>\n<h3>What they hate about you\u2026<\/h3>\n<p>Before you rush out to hug the next Spanish person you see, there are a few things we do that will not earn you brownie points with locals.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cMoaning that everything is better back home, does not go down well,<\/em>\u201d says Beatriz Carro de Prada. Barcelonian-by-birth and owner of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.brs-relocation.com\/\">BRS Relocation Services.<\/a><\/p>\n<p>If you have a negative attitude, don\u2019t expect to be invited round for paella any time soon.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201c<\/em><em>Locals<\/em><em> don\u2019t complain as much,\u201d<\/em> says Beatriz, who has also lived in many countries.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cJust watch them queueing at the supermarket. They\u2019ll wait patiently. No-one will say anything.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>And even though Barcelonians do tend to believe that things are better abroad than in Spain, only they are allowed to say this. If you try to make this point, you won\u2019t be very popular. Be warned.<\/p>\n<p>What certainly won\u2019t warm you to locals either is if you\u2019re arrogant or you always know everything better.\u00a0Man-splaining is also not recommended, then, I suppose.<\/p>\n<p>Barcelonians tend to have what Beatriz calls a \u2018softer\u2019 attitude \u2013 less aggressive and pushy \u2013 you know who you are!<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIf you\u2019re unhappy with the service somewhere and you ask to see the manager \u2013 you won\u2019t get anywhere,\u201d<\/em>she warns.<\/p>\n<p>There is more empathy, respect and generosity. No temper tantrums or stamping your feet.<\/p>\n<p>One of my new local friends, <em>at least I think we\u2019re friends<\/em> \u2013 also mentions respect and curiosity towards their culture as ways into locals\u2019 hearts.<\/p>\n<p>Cultural differences are a minefield, though, and it\u2019s easy to offend someone by mistake such as when I neglect to open the nice bottle of vino my friend brings over for lunch. You\u2019re expected to offer the wine, regardless of whether it pairs with your meal. Oops\u2026\u00a0 Luckily, especially if they\u2019ve lived abroad, locals are also quite forgiving of our mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"row wpb_row row-fluid\"><div class=\"wpb_column columns medium-12 thb-dark-column small-12\"><div class=\"vc_column-inner  \"><div class=\"wpb_wrapper \">\n\t<div  class=\"wpb_single_image wpb_content_element vc_align_center\">\n\t\t\n\t\t<figure class=\"wpb_wrapper vc_figure\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"vc_single_image-wrapper   vc_box_border_grey\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"vc_single_image-img  lazyload\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" data-src=\"https:\/\/www.barcelonaglobal.org\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/New-Project-51.png\" width=\"1200\" height=\"800\" alt=\"How do you meet local people in Barcelona\" title=\"How do you meet local people in Barcelona\" \/><\/div>\n\t\t<\/figure>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"row wpb_row row-fluid\"><div class=\"wpb_column columns medium-12 thb-dark-column small-12\"><div class=\"vc_column-inner  \"><div class=\"wpb_wrapper \">\n\t<div class=\"wpb_text_column wpb_content_element  \" >\n\t\t<div class=\"wpb_wrapper\">\n\t\t\t<h3>\u2018If you want to integrate you can\u2019<\/h3>\n<p>Beatriz distinguishes between an expat \u2013 who is only here for a few years because of a job \u2013 and Barcelonians-by-choice who want to make the city their home. The latter usually have a more positive attitude than, for example, a trailing spouse who doesn\u2019t want to be here.<\/p>\n<p>Someone living abroad for the first time will take longer to adapt than the seasoned expat changing countries for the fifth time, and, of course, some personalities find it easier to adapt than others.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI can tell in the first minute who will fit in and who won\u2019t,\u201d says Beatriz. \u201cThose who like things done their way struggle more.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Carine agrees that attitude is everything. She finds Barcelona one of the easiest cities to integrate \u2013 much more so than China, Korea or Finland, where she\u2019s lived before.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIf you really want to integrate in Barcelona you can,<\/em>\u201d she says. \u201c<em>This is definitely not the case everywhere in the world.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Tell me about it!<\/p>\n<p>Carine has made good loal friends after 6 years in the city.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cMy best friend is Spanish.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>She connected with locals through her children\u2019s local school and by taking martial arts classes in a local club.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cI also volunteered at the Red Cross when I first arrived and went to meetings at Barcelona Global, where I knew no-one. I was very much out of my comfort zone.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>To be loved by locals you definitely need to learn Spanish, stay open and be resilient, she says.<\/p>\n<p>A few words in Catalan won\u2019t do any harm but are not really required unless you plan to stay here for a long time.<\/p>\n<h3>Have dinner later\u2026<\/h3>\n<p>When in Rome\u2026 Change your habits \u2013 live like locals!<\/p>\n<p>If you continue to eat dinner at 7 pm and lunch at 12.30 pm, you\u2019re sure to be left out by locals.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cYou need to embrace new ways of doing things,\u201d<\/em> says Cristina, who worked at the British Consulate in Barcelona.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIf you try to impose your way of doing things \u2013 don\u2019t expect to make local friends,\u201d<\/em> she says.<em>\u201cTime is definitely an issue \u2013 <\/em><em>locals<\/em><em> eat lunch at 2 pm and dinner at 9 pm<\/em><em>. Working hours also tend to be longer in Barcelona, though this is beginning to change<\/em><em>,<\/em>\u201d she says<\/p>\n<h3>How to get into the inner circle<\/h3>\n<p>Barcelonians may exchange pleasantries on the network circuit but getting to the next level is a challenge.<\/p>\n<p>All you need, says Cristina, is just one good local friend, who brings you into their circle, which means you\u2019re automatically in and once you\u2019re in \u2013 you\u2019re in for life.<\/p>\n<p>But how do to find that one friend \u2013 can you bribe them?<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cMake the first move!\u201d<\/em> says Cristina.<\/p>\n<p>Barcelonians are often ashamed of speaking English, so take the lead and propose to meet for coffee or a <em>menu del dia<\/em> in a restaurant \u2013 not at your home at first, that\u2019s way too intimate.\u00a0And if you\u2019ve been paying attention, you won\u2019t suggest 1.30 pm for lunch. The friendship will be short-lived.<\/p>\n<p>Integrating on a superficial level, is not hard, says Beatriz, but if you want a deeper connection, it\u2019s much, much more difficult.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cCatalans are very closed and family-focused. It\u2019s not easy to enter their circle, even for <\/em><em>people who speak Spanish<\/em><em>,\u201d<\/em> she says.\u00a0 <em>\u201cMadrid, for example, is much easier than Barcelona.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIt will take longer to be invited to someone\u2019s home in Barcelona than in other cities \u2013 they do not give their trust easily.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>So, how do we win their trust?<\/p>\n<p>Both Cristina and Beatriz recommend listening and observing.\u00a0 Listen to the tone of voice, observe the way locals communicate and their pace of doing things.<\/p>\n<p>And then, copy them!<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s easier for younger people to make friends in bars and clubs \u2013 at least pre-Covid \u2013 and through volleyball on the beach for example, but when you get to the age where clubbing is your worst nightmare, it\u2019s harder to connect with locals.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cPeople are busy and they have their own lives,<\/em>\u201d says Beatriz.<\/p>\n<p>The bottom line is that it is possible to be loved by locals, but you need to be resilient, don\u2019t be scared to get out of your comfort zone and try to frequent the same sports, art or music clubs \u2013 so you see and speak to the same people every time \u2013 in Spanish!<em>\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cIf you hang out in expat groups, you will never integrate,\u201d<\/em> says Beatriz.<\/p>\n<p>Now all I have to do is \u00a0improve my Spanish and work on my paddle shots.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t miss my next post and interesting English news and interviews, <a href=\"https:\/\/barcelonaglobal.civi-go.net\/civicrm\/profile\/create?gid=32&amp;reset=1#spu-form-5868\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">SIGN UP for the Barcelona Global blog in English today<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Got any comments or tips? Share them below.<\/p>\n<p>And if you\u2019re a local who\u2019d like to have lunch or play paddle \u2013 <a href=\"mailto:chenekoscielny@gmail.com\">contact me.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>South African journalist and digital marketing expert Chen\u00e9 Koscielny, who lives in Barcelona, shares insider tips for expats keen to make local friends \u2013 including what NOT to say or do!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":182764262,"featured_media":8438,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[269],"tags":[20,274,279,275,277,282,295,284,291,28,294,273,292,271,293,297,287,281,276,278,285,272],"thb-sponsors":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v24.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to be loved by locals in Barcelona (and what they hate about 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